June 22

We spent two nights in Kibuye this weekend and explored a little bit of Lake Kivu.  The lake is beautiful and it was a very relaxing weekend for the most part.  The hotel wasn’t nearly as nice as the guesthouse in Kigali and I was very excited to return to Bethany this morning.

We got to Kibuye Thursday afternoon and Friday morning we took boats to Amahoro Island and spent a couple of hours relaxing by the water.  It was such a beautiful island and I felt like we were in the Caribbean.  The lake is so big and is surrounded by hills (as is the rest of Rwanda) and the views were amazing.  So naturally my camera battery died right when we landed on the island.

During our time here I’ve experienced a fair amount of alienation, especially as you get to the more rural areas of Rwanda.  On our way back from Kibuye, we made a bathroom stop in a very rural region with a lot of people, and I think this experience takes the cake for the most alienated I’ve felt in Rwanda.

As the bus pulled over a group gathered around to see what the white people were doing stopping in their town.  We were definitely a spectacle and around 100, if not more, people began to stare inside our bus.  It literally felt like we were animals in a zoo.  Elizabeth and I had our window open and an older man tried to open it from the outside. 

After students got off the bus to go to the bathroom, the bus door stayed open and women and children stood outside looking at us and talking about us to each other.  Some asked for money and others laughed when one of us tried to say “good morning” to “hello” in Kinyarwanda. 

This is probably the most uncomfortable I’ve felt throughout the entire trip because there were so many people just peering through the windows looking at us.  In most other places we’ve been, people would look at us while they walked by the bus but a congregation of people isn’t that common. 

June 22

We spent two nights in Kibuye this weekend and explored a little bit of Lake Kivu.  The lake is beautiful and it was a very relaxing weekend for the most part.  The hotel wasn’t nearly as nice as the guesthouse in Kigali and I was very excited to return to Bethany this morning.

We got to Kibuye Thursday afternoon and Friday morning we took boats to Amahoro Island and spent a couple of hours relaxing by the water.  It was such a beautiful island and I felt like we were in the Caribbean.  The lake is so big and is surrounded by hills (as is the rest of Rwanda) and the views were amazing.  So naturally my camera battery died right when we landed on the island.

During our time here I’ve experienced a fair amount of alienation, especially as you get to the more rural areas of Rwanda.  On our way back from Kibuye, we made a bathroom stop in a very rural region with a lot of people, and I think this experience takes the cake for the most alienated I’ve felt in Rwanda.

As the bus pulled over a group gathered around to see what the white people were doing stopping in their town.  We were definitely a spectacle and around 100, if not more, people began to stare inside our bus.  It literally felt like we were animals in a zoo.  Elizabeth and I had our window open and an older man tried to open it from the outside. 

After students got off the bus to go to the bathroom, the bus door stayed open and women and children stood outside looking at us and talking about us to each other.  Some asked for money and others laughed when one of us tried to say “good morning” to “hello” in Kinyarwanda. 

This is probably the most uncomfortable I’ve felt throughout the entire trip because there were so many people just peering through the windows looking at us.  In most other places we’ve been, people would look at us while they walked by the bus but a congregation of people isn’t that common. 

June 19

It dawned on me today that we leave Rwanda next week. On one hand, it feels like I’ve been here for a year. But at the same time, there is still so much I want to see, so much I want to learn and so many more people I want to meet.  As much as I don’t want to think about leaving, missing the conveniences of home hit me a little hard yesterday.

I take for granted how easy it is to wash my clothes, clean dishes and hop in my car and drive anywhere I need to go when I’m in America.  Last night I lost all of my patience after a stress-inducing trip to the market where it was crowed, stuffy and the saleswomen would not stop hounding me.  I finally came back to the guesthouse where a load of laundry awaited me. After I was finally done with my errands around 7:30, I was starving.  Some students helped to cook a dinner for the group which wasn’t ready until 9:30 because the burner to make the rice wasn’t working – the whole time wishing with my whole heart that there was a Bojangles (or any fast food for that matter) in Kigali.  After finally having dinner, it was time for the students who didn’t cook to clean up and do the dishes. 

As I was washing the dishes, I kept remembering all the times at home that I moaned and complained about having to put the dishes up after the dishwasher had cleaned them or having to fold and put up my clean clothes.

We had a guest speaker in class Monday who was talking about how some pregnant women in Rwanda live five kilometers from the nearest hospital.  When their water breaks, they have to walk over numerous hills to get to a doctor, and a lot of times, they don’t make it and have their babies on the side of the road.

I thought back to that speaker’s lecture and immediately felt ashamed for letting the events of the day put me in such a bad mood.  I felt worse when I thought of how I let even smaller things put me in a bad mood back in the states.  Most people in Rwanda live without the everyday things I’ve grown so accustomed to, but it goes beyond that.  Many Rwandans have lived the past twenty years without their parents, their children, and other family members.

This trip has been such a blessing to me and I wish that everyone at home could see the circumstances that others around the world live in. I sincerely hope that I will remember the things I’ve seen and read about when I return home and complain about having to go to work or study for an exam.

June 16 - Church

June 16, 2013 – Church

Before we returned to the guesthouse from our homestay we had the pleasure of attending church with our host families.  Our family attends African New Life Church, which seems to be non-denominational.

They had the English service from 9am-11am with the Kinyarwanda service following.  We were late to church due to the getting ready habits of the 14-year-old -- remember I said that Rwandan culture and American culture do have some similarities.

We got to church about 30 minutes late.  When we came in everyone was singing a song; I can’t remember the name of it but I knew it from the United States.  I was surprised to find that there were quite a few “muzungu” there – and a few other students from our program were there with their host families.

The preacher’s message was about fostering godly relationships.  He spent 10 years in the United States and made references back to his time there throughout his message.  I found it particularly interesting that he made the statement that people do not lie in America like they do in Africa.  He talked about going to get gas in the U.S. and there was nobody to pump it for him (like there is here) and he got gas and went inside to pay afterward.  He also talked about how there was a tray of cookies somewhere and you paid by the honor system and how that would never happen in Africa.  I found it interesting because I definitely don’t see America as an honest society, but I have also not spent enough time in Africa to see them as a dishonest society.  He also referenced Bill Clinton and how Americans were madder about the fact that he lied than that he had “sexual relations with that woman,” which I found interesting.

He also made a point that nurturing anger was not healthy for godly relationships and that if people continued to hold anger in their hearts, feelings would muster and could cause another genocide.  I think it’s very interesting how the church makes references back to 1994 and it makes me wonder what the pastors were preaching before and during the genocide.  Were they telling their congregations to forgo hate or were they helping to spread the genocidal rhetoric? I’m sure the answer is different depending on the pastor and the church, but it’s something to think about.

I really enjoyed going to church this morning and am planning on attending the Presbyterian service at the church beside our guesthouse next Sunday.

June 16 - Homestay

June 16, 2013

I returned from my homestay this morning and am glad to say that I had a wonderful experience.  The other student that went with me was Elke, she’s originally from Cameroon but has lived in New York City almost her entire life because her parents work for the United Nations – in short, she’s awesome.

My family had two daughters. Aroma is 14 and Melody is 9.  The father, Eugene, is an elder in the church – African New Life.  The mother, Rose, works with women at the church who were widows after 1994 and younger girls who were forced into prostitution as a result of not having family members around after 1994.  From what I could tell, they have been living in Uganda for the past 10-ish years (not 100% sure, but I think) and they had just recently moved back to Rwanda.  They were in the middle of building a new house when we stayed with them. When we got there Thursday night the lights in the guest room where we stayed weren’t working but within the hour they had them on for us.

The parents were so sweet.  They were very interested in American culture and loved the gifts we brought for them (UNC apparel and country ham from me, and I love NY t-shirts and mugs from Elke).

The first night before dinner we were all sitting around and talking and Rose started to tell us about her work with the women at the church.  She told us that she works with widows and former prostitutes at the church.  She was telling us about a 9-year-old girl that was forced into prostitution that she is currently working with. Nine years old. I was literally in shock.  I can’t imagine working with girls like that every day. I think it would break my heart.

The next day we briefly met a girl from Oregon (she looked around 25) who works at the center with Rose.  Eugene told us that she had been there for a year and even had a Rwandese boyfriend.  There are so many organizations and opportunities for humanitarian work and the more I think about it, the more I think I would like to take a year or two after undergrad and spend some time somewhere in Africa doing something like that.

Rose was very confused about how some (maybe most) parents don’t let their children live with them (rent-free) after they have went to college or gotten a job.  I told her that I didn’t think my parents would let me live with them full-time when I was done with college, and that I had a lot of friends whose parents felt the same way.  She didn’t really understand it and said, “If it were up to me, my girls would live with me until they were 60!” I tried to explain that it was so that the children didn’t become dependent on their parents and never move out, but I still don’t think she understands it.

At dinner the second night (Friday) Rose told me and Elke that she and her family prayed for two nice American girls and God brought us to their family.  Like the majority of Rwandans, our family was Christian and seemed very pleased when I told them I go to a Baptist church at home.

On Saturday me and Elke took the girls to Kigali City Centre (basically downtown Kigali) to go shopping and hang out.  We were surprised when the parents let both their daughters come with two American girls who didn’t know the way to town (we had to get a bus).  But, the trip was successful and we saw a cool art gallery by the Union Trade Center.  Young men were basically free-handing it and making these amazing pieces of artwork.  I even got to play the guitar for the first time – a crowd gathered to watch the muzungu who had no idea what she was going.

When we got back that afternoon, Eugene’s sister, her husband two of their children were at the house.  David, who is 23, was very interested in what we were doing here and what we were studying.  He jokingly (I think) asked us if we wanted to meet Paul Kagame while we were here and told us to hit him up.  Darlene, who is 16, was so awesome and chill.  She and Aroma are very close and we spent most of our time that night with them listening to music and watching movies and goofing off.

There was one thing that I found particularly interesting that we talked about with other students this morning and we all came to a general consensus.  The children were not spoiled materially, but the youngest one especially got away with a lot of whining and complaining that my parents would have never put up with.  A lot of students on our program had similar experiences with the children in their houses as well.

I am so glad that we got the experience of living with a Rwandan family and seeing what they live like firsthand. I was kind of surprised at how similar it was to the American lifestyle. Our family asked us to come back and have dinner with them again before we leave so hopefully that will happen sometime within the next 2 weeks.