June 2, 2013

The last couple of days have been very busy. On Friday we went to two genocide memorials, both were churches where huge massacres took place, so Friday was very emotionally draining. At the second church, a group of Rwandan students (they looked around my age) were on the tour before us. Seeing their reactions to the memorial was more moving for me than the actual memorial. Many were lying on the ground and crying, physically not able to move. When I saw their reactions, it made me wonder how they feel about seeing foreigners visit the memorials. On one hand, I could see them thinking it’s intrusive for us to delve into their country’s dark past. On the other hand, they may think it’s good that foreigners know what happened here in 1994 and the horrors that Rwandans went through.

The second memorial was located beside a primary school, and we got to talk to and play with the children at the school while we waited. They were adorable and loved touching our hands and yelling “mazungu” (white man) at us. Benoit told us later that he went to that primary school when he was a kid.

At the primary school we asked one of the locals who was with us (I think it was Jackson but I’m not sure) at what age do children learn about the genocide. He said that he was taught about it in primary school (around 5^th grade I think) but his parents never talked about it with him when he asked. I would assume that different people have different experiences – some parents are probably more open to talking about it than others. I also thought about the children of Hutus who helped to commit the genocide – what do they tell their children when they come home and ask about 1994?

On Friday night we went to eat dinner with Serge and Bonheur at Republika Lounge. They started telling us about traditional Rwandan culture and it was very interesting. A long time ago, when a man wanted to marry a woman, he got his father to ask her father and the parents negotiated a price (usually in money or cows). Then, before the wedding, they put the future husband and wife in a room and they were supposed to physically fight each other over the woman’s “dignity”. Very strange.

Bonheur went to the bathroom in the middle of dinner and Serge told us how Bonheur lost all of his siblings (5) in the genocide. Serge also lost his parents and 6 (I think) cousins at one of the memorials we went to earlier that day. He went with us to the memorial and you could tell that he was having a hard time being there.

At one of the orientations we went to before the trip, a girl that had already been to Rwanda talked to us about how the genocide underlies everything. At dinner that night, we asked Bonheur and Serge how old they were and Bonheur said, “25, I was 6”.  It was a perfect example of how everything in Rwanda comes back to the events of 1994.

When we came home, Jackson and Benoit were awake and Elizabeth and I were asked them more about Rwandan culture. Apparently, if a woman gets pregnant before she is 21 (the legal age to marry) then the father of the child can get sent to prison. Also very strange.

At 3:30 on Saturday morning we all woke up to go to Akagera National Park to see animals. It was really fun but being cooped up in a bus all day without sleep was very tiring.  Regardless, a few of us decided to go out to a restaurant/club when we got back that night with Serge and Bonheur. It was a lot of fun and they played a lot of American music – Christina Aguilera and Marvin Gaye. The DJ also was playing music videos, but they weren’t the official music videos for the songs. They were hilarious.

I was talking to Bonheur about which type of music he liked and whether or not he liked Beyoncé. He told me that Beyoncé and Jay-Z were basically in their own category and was surprised when I told him that it was the same in America. He asked me what kind of music I liked and when I told him bluegrass, I was VERY surprised that he knew what that was – although he said he wasn’t a fan.

When we went to the bathroom, there was a lady in there we started talking to. She told me she liked my dress and asked me if I came to that bar a lot. I started talking to her and all of a sudden she started touching my hair. It kind of took me by surprise but the lady was really sweet, much like the rest of the people I’ve met here.

Today I slept late and when we woke up some of us went to a market. We took our first bus ride and that was an experience in itself. We met two drunk men at the bus stop and one of them asked Emily to marry her and have his babies. The other one was older and kept calling us “mazungu”, but he was really nice.  The bus stopped and everyone was telling us to get off because we were at the market, but it didn’t look like a big market so we were confused. This guy was leading us to the market but ended up taking us to a bug stop with the same name as the market. But the market was close by so it wasn’t too far out of the way.

The market was in a more rural part of Kigali and we definitely stood out from everybody else. Groups of children started following us and people stared a lot more than they usually do in the center of Kigali. We tried to speak Ikinyarwanda to them and they laughed for the most part but I think they appreciated our effort.

We stopped for a late lunch at this random café and had a plate of nothing but carbs (rice, fries, beans, noodles and potatoes) for less than 2 dollars. The trip was ultimately successful as we got to see a different part of the city and it was a very memorable experience.

After today I’ve decided that my favorite part about Rwanda is the people. The landscapes are beautiful and the crafts and food are amazing but the people I’ve met in just one week have made this experience so much more unforgettable. Jackson and Benoit at the guesthouse are two of the sweetest people and don’t mind it when we constantly ask them to help us with our Ikinyarwanda or keep them up too late talking about stupid shit. Serge and Bonheur are very open with us about their culture and always try to show us a good time. And despite their pasts and the family members they lost in the genocide, they are still two of the kindest people I know.  The people we meet on the streets laugh when we talk to them in Ikinyarwanda but a lot of them actually help us learn new words and phrases. The people at the supermarket are always willing to help and are interested about what we’re doing in Rwanda and always ask if we like it so far.  So I’m so glad I’m here and I’m learning about interesting topics but the experience would not be the same without all the wonderful people I’ve met so far.